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Here’s why: The “falling in love” kind of love, not the familial love that you have, say, for your parents or children, is about receiving.The other kind of love—the tender feelings for children, or the compassionate love that you have when you’ve been married 50 years—is about giving.

There will be new things in the “you” that has experienced all this pain: guardedness, healing, and newfound respect.Many people can try to give you this message but it doesn’t work with other people.The one person with whom it works proves to you, in the course of being together, that he or she really who you are.As you let him or her into your private self, your partner did the same.And what did you find inside your partner’s heart and soul? Although opposites do attract, the fundamental, deep-down attraction comes from a reflection of oneself.