Outside the Duggar-verse, there is the less overt but just as prevalent “ideal spouse” dating. Did she want my sweatshirt because she was cold, or because she likes me?
This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?
So while you might be thinking he’s a cool guy to watch Netflix with, he might be thinking you’d look great in a long white gown walking down an aisle covered in flowers. It feels cliché to say stay positive, but I mean it.
I kid, but this is all to say that it’s important to be honest with one another. ) For those of you who hope to graduate in four years with a degree it’s important to keep your eyes on the prize. Life is so much more than your college dating life.
“Do you think Christian girls make dating too serious? “I need a buffer of at least five dates before I’m thinking of any future at all! What if you completely jettison the idea of finding your husband or wife via dating, at least for the first five dates?
What if dating is about getting to know someone and gauging interest, not lifelong compatibility?
Dating helps two people sort out what it would be like to be together, to be in a friendship.
Most of marriage involves time together, one on one, in a friendship.
Still, I’ll defend myself in saying that I was very immersed of the world of dating—the good and the bad. I also witnessed girls have the best college experience without a boyfriend. And spending intentional one-on-one time—not too serious, just time—allows both parties to experience what it would be like to continue in the relationship.I can’t say it clearly enough: Hanging out in groups will not be enough information to determine who is worth marrying.The great thing about changing expectations is that it lowers the pressure on grabbing dinner together and figuring out if the two of you even like talking to one another!Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.